Are you the Gatekeeper?

It's been awhile since I last posted.

The wedding went well and everyone got married. I'm afraid the priest was a little gay, not that there's anything wrong with that. My buddy Brian was super excited about being stuck sleeping with only one woman for the rest of his life, but like he told me, "it's better than sleeping with no one." I think that statement was meant for me, but who knows.

My ankles were a lot worse than I had anticipated and it took the help of some 8 month old celebrex (thanks dad, hope the elephantitis cleared up!) to ease the swelling. But seriously, if they could reverse engineer that stuff and find a way to localise it, Rick Moranis may get laid, for once, by something other than an inter dimensional god.

I finally willed myself to get back on the WiiFit regularly this week and have been sticking to my guns (for the most part) on dieting. I am usually really good about it, but once in a while, I am bored, hungry and scour the apartment for younglings--I mean food. With everything unlocked in the game, I have been trying to focus and excel at some of the stranger yoga poses (downward facing dog, triangle--a killer, the bridge and the one where I roll onto my shoulders with my feet raised to the ceiling--very tough for someone as horizontally built as I).

I have also discovered, thanks to Boers and Bernstein on sports radio 670, that Lance Armstrong has created a new website, called "Livestrong.com". While they referred to him as an "asshat" (a term I love), I do appreciate the work he and his people put in. It's a little hokey, and I mean like white-texan-Oprah hokey, and they ask you to "dare" yourself and your friends to accomplish goals (such as giving up smoking, losing weight, kicking heroin, etc.), but overall it's a really nice site. The program doesn't necessarily tell you what to do, but rather it lets you track what you are doing, keep journals on these things, and get advice on ways to progress. I really like their food section.. Not that I'm going to use it for recipes or anything like that--something I hope to get a girlfriend to do :), but tracking what exactly I eat every day is simple and very useful. "Oh, I guess that trip to the Italian Dennys--excuse me, Olive Garden, for the never ending bread bowl, was a bad idea". No shit Sherlock.

Anyways, I look to drop to 215 by Monday, but we'll see. I am thinking of foregoing on the fun this weekend, while focusing on work and working out my rolls. I have the road bike I was looking for, thanks to Jared, my lactarded roommate, and I will begin a stringent regimen of riding it everywhere I go (with reason--you can't very well take it on a date to the Sizzler). The thing must have been built for Manute Bol, because I'm a reasonably tall fellow and I have to jump onto the seat..

I have been pretty decent with the consolidation of drinking that I planned for myself. Mostly, that had to do with the cankle problems I've had, but I've tried to be a good boy and leave my Binny's card at home. I don't think I even cleared 20 drinks over the wedding weekend, but I tried. Also, LiveStrong suggested I go out and get a pedometer this weekend (well, in general, but for me this weekend), so I'll give that a go. Knowing when I'm being a hermaphroditic hermit will come in handy for my therapy sessions--on the WiiFit, I don't have money for those sanctimonious demagogues!


6/19 Key Stats:
Weight= 222 lbs. (-8 lbs)
BMI= 30.95 (-1.05)
Wii Fit Time= 13hrs 10 mins (over 3 weeks)
Pushups= 24 (on Thursday)
Jackknifes= 46 (on Thursday)