Are you the Gatekeeper?

It's been awhile since I last posted.

The wedding went well and everyone got married. I'm afraid the priest was a little gay, not that there's anything wrong with that. My buddy Brian was super excited about being stuck sleeping with only one woman for the rest of his life, but like he told me, "it's better than sleeping with no one." I think that statement was meant for me, but who knows.

My ankles were a lot worse than I had anticipated and it took the help of some 8 month old celebrex (thanks dad, hope the elephantitis cleared up!) to ease the swelling. But seriously, if they could reverse engineer that stuff and find a way to localise it, Rick Moranis may get laid, for once, by something other than an inter dimensional god.

I finally willed myself to get back on the WiiFit regularly this week and have been sticking to my guns (for the most part) on dieting. I am usually really good about it, but once in a while, I am bored, hungry and scour the apartment for younglings--I mean food. With everything unlocked in the game, I have been trying to focus and excel at some of the stranger yoga poses (downward facing dog, triangle--a killer, the bridge and the one where I roll onto my shoulders with my feet raised to the ceiling--very tough for someone as horizontally built as I).

I have also discovered, thanks to Boers and Bernstein on sports radio 670, that Lance Armstrong has created a new website, called "Livestrong.com". While they referred to him as an "asshat" (a term I love), I do appreciate the work he and his people put in. It's a little hokey, and I mean like white-texan-Oprah hokey, and they ask you to "dare" yourself and your friends to accomplish goals (such as giving up smoking, losing weight, kicking heroin, etc.), but overall it's a really nice site. The program doesn't necessarily tell you what to do, but rather it lets you track what you are doing, keep journals on these things, and get advice on ways to progress. I really like their food section.. Not that I'm going to use it for recipes or anything like that--something I hope to get a girlfriend to do :), but tracking what exactly I eat every day is simple and very useful. "Oh, I guess that trip to the Italian Dennys--excuse me, Olive Garden, for the never ending bread bowl, was a bad idea". No shit Sherlock.

Anyways, I look to drop to 215 by Monday, but we'll see. I am thinking of foregoing on the fun this weekend, while focusing on work and working out my rolls. I have the road bike I was looking for, thanks to Jared, my lactarded roommate, and I will begin a stringent regimen of riding it everywhere I go (with reason--you can't very well take it on a date to the Sizzler). The thing must have been built for Manute Bol, because I'm a reasonably tall fellow and I have to jump onto the seat..

I have been pretty decent with the consolidation of drinking that I planned for myself. Mostly, that had to do with the cankle problems I've had, but I've tried to be a good boy and leave my Binny's card at home. I don't think I even cleared 20 drinks over the wedding weekend, but I tried. Also, LiveStrong suggested I go out and get a pedometer this weekend (well, in general, but for me this weekend), so I'll give that a go. Knowing when I'm being a hermaphroditic hermit will come in handy for my therapy sessions--on the WiiFit, I don't have money for those sanctimonious demagogues!


6/19 Key Stats:
Weight= 222 lbs. (-8 lbs)
BMI= 30.95 (-1.05)
Wii Fit Time= 13hrs 10 mins (over 3 weeks)
Pushups= 24 (on Thursday)
Jackknifes= 46 (on Thursday)

Dan out of Hell !

Just got back the other day from my weekend of debauchery in good ole Wisconsin. I managed not to eat that much, quantity wise, while I was up there, but I still weighed in at 226 on Sunday night.

The bad news from the trip is that I severely sprained my left ankle while out there. I thought I was all cool in my big, black crocs--but word to the wise, don't play catch with a football in crocs. I went up for a high thrown ball (thanks Suhas) and the ground was a lot lower than I suspected under my left foot when I came down. I landed awkwardly, heard a pop and rolled over. Wanting to avoid the situation, I started to try and crawl away from the pain. Yeah, that didn't really help. Thankfully, my hypochondriac roommate had an ankle wrap or splint thingie in his bag.

A few complications arose from this injury. First, I was unable to compete against Suhas in the 40/50 yard dash that we had planned, so the timing of the injury definitely seemed suspicious to some--or at the very least, it gave them "license to ill" me. Also, I don't get injured often, and I figured that I would be able do drink away some of the pain. No, not so much. After numerous "shotguns" and more beer than most humans should swallow, I didn't feel a buzz of any real sort. So I kept going... Eventually things kicked in as they should, but it was a little late and most had gone to sleep. At this late hour, I finally decided to relieve myself, but was too lazy to go to the washroom, so I hopped on my right foot into the woods.......and tripped and fell (over the broken chair our friend Ryan had thrown in a few hours earlier), spraining my other ankle and having to make lemonade from my knees. It was almost pathetic enough to require weepage, but I manned up.

Anywho, I ate sensibly and didn't drink any brew on Monday and I weighed in at 223 this morning. I am going on a water and slim-fast diet this week--gotta look good for the wedding I'm standing up in on Saturday. Maybe there is even a bridesmaid with low self-esteem, in which I can claw my hooks!

If my ankle feels better soon, I will return to working out on the Wii Fit, but I'm guessing it may take a few days. I can probably still do push ups and jackknifes, but the yoga and standing maneuvers will be on hold.

Debauchery in Wisconsin, Hooray!

I don't have a ton of time to post this morning, but I figured I'd give it a go.

I am heading off to Northern Wisconsin for my buddy Brian's bachelor trip. It should be a great time, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to gain a bit of weight while I'm there. The combination of lots of beer and meat will fill me up.

My hope is that physical activity will offset some of the food and spirits. Besides water activities (rafting and canoeing), I will be playing frisbee and baseball and who knows what else.

On the current weight; I hadn't quite reached my goal of 220 by today, by I weighed in at 223.5 last night. I will post an official blog with all of the measurables on Sunday.

The other fun news is that I will be competing against my friend Suhas in a 40 or 50 yard dash. He's going down! I am like the dwarf from Lord of the Rings, a natural sprinter, while I'm shit for distance.

I was thinking; maybe I can find a way not to gain weight this weekend. The beer shouldn't be too bad, because it will take away water weight. I guess eating will be the key. I let you know what I discovered when I return.

Ciao for Now,

Dan

(I saw the Sex and the City movie this week. Not my fault, I think it turns every guy a little gay.)